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For your reading pleasure, two poems about the weather. It's not like I really have nothing to talk about anymore (as meteorological events are what you should be conversing about during a literary dry spell) but recent skyward pondering as left me with these blabberings.
Wet
The rain, The Rain!
How we hail it! When
we've blamed, the sun
in all it's glory. How we like it
now it's pouring!
Almost ThereIn half-light I am cycling home
beneath the wings
of bats
who rush through clouds so
dark they've become
dangerous.
Quick, the thunder's coming!
This is the end of the page. Luckily, there are more pages!
Joy
5 comments:
Is that comma meant to be there in the third line? And if so: why?
(Thalassa, Thallasa!)
Good question; it was meant as a line break originally. Maybe it sounds a lot better in my head than it does on screen....
Make it a line break then...otherwise we just trip over this odd little comma.
But I can def. see your point in a spoken word performance
And 'half-light'? Afraid to just use Twilight because it might invoke Sparklepires?
absolutely, I can no longer seriously use the word and not think of cardboard-face and all his mates.
Same goes for the words Code, Mystery and Symbol used in less than 5 stanzas removed from each other. Popular fiction ruins my ambition.
That last bit might be slightly ameliorated by reading Foucault's Pendulum and works by Borges.
But seriously, 'in half-light' seems a bit more part of 'poetic' register than the other words in the poem (problem indeed is that words such as 'dusk' and "twi-..." are even more heavy-handed). Perhaps simplify to 'in the half light'?
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